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Talk:GREATEST XBOX ONE S DESTRUCTION EVER!!!/@comment-2601:342:C001:B14E:A1BB:E6AF:E4F5:1FC4-20190727184522
Ever since the run-up of Disney's live-action remakes, I've been predicting what would happen with the newer films, and it all seems to be coming true. The problem with Disney remaking hit animated movies from the 80s and 90s is that there hasn't been enough distance. The immediate audience is going to demand their nostalgia exactly as they remember it, and they will not be happy with anything less. It's not like a scenario where the original movies could be improved upon, like 2016's beautifully tender Pete's Dragon. What these live-action remakes offer is an uglier, inferior version of an animated classic. There's no reason for most of them to exist. They won't be different; they won't be interesting. It's a sludgy, auto-tuned cash grab that shows no end in sight. Before this year, I did not expect Tim Burton's Dumbo to be the best of the three 2019 Disney live-action remakes, but here we are. I guess the concept of Disney eating its own tail with these live-action remakes is symbolic of the studio "circle of life," and the perfect segue way to The Lion King, a remake missing the wonder and magic of the 1994 original. King Mufasa (voiced by James Earl Jones again) rules over an African prairie and preparing his young son Simba (JD Mcrary and Donald Glover as an adult) for his eventual rule. Mufasa's scornful brother Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) conspires to have Mufasa killed and Simba banished. Blaming himself for his father's death, Simba runs away and finds kinship with a meerkat named Timon (Billy Eichner) and a warthog named Pumba (Seth Rogen). They preach a carefree life of "no worries." This new life is interrupted when Nala (Beyoncé Knowles), Simba's childhood friend, returns seeking help to remove Scar from the throne. Simba must confront his fate and treacherous uncle and bring balance back to his ailing homeland. The biggest appeal of director Jon Favreau's Lion King remake is the stunning special effects. It's been ten years since James Cameron brought to life a photo realistic alien world that dazzled audiences, and the advances have only made the professional fakery more startling. This movie was completely "filmed" inside a computer. Every single shot, every blade of grass, every pebble, every photo realistic morsel onscreen is the result of digital wizards. In 2016's The Jungle Book, there were still some physical elements filmed, chief among them the human boy, but now it's all done away. The remake looks like an HD nature documentary. One could question the use of the technology, $250 million to recreate what ordinary cameras on location could achieve, but I'll choose to congratulate Disney and Favreau on the remarkable technical achievement. The Jungle Book was a big leap forward and The Lion King is that next step. However, the special effects are ultimately the only selling point. Come see how real it all looks, kids. The rest of the remake left me feeling unmoved and occasionally perplexed. This is an almost exact shot-for-shot recreation of the original movie. It made me think of Gus van Sant's 1998 Psycho remake and why anyone would go to this much trouble to make a copy. You'll feel a tingle of recognition with different shots and scenes and then that feeling will transition to disappointment and lastly resignation. It's the same, just not as good. So what exactly is different with the live-action Lion King of 2019? Very very little. Despite totaling a half hour more movie, it really only has one added incidental Beyoncé song, a small character beat where Timon and Pumba explain their philosophy on more fatalistic terms, an explanation how Nala left the pride lands, and more poop and fart jokes. The filmmakers have added realism in appearance but also added more scatological humor, which seems like an odd combination. There is a literal plot point attached to giraffe poop. Instead of a whispery feather, petal, whatever finding its way to the baboon Rafiki to let him know Simba is still alive, now we watch the life of a tuft of fur as it travels from creature to creature, at one point being consumed on a leaf by a giraffe. The next image is a ball of poop being rolled by a beetle with our tell-tale tuft of lion fur. I guess it's more emblematic of the whole "circle of life" theme, but I didn't think Disney was going to literalize the poop aspect. The new Beyoncé song is fairly bland and unmemorable. That's it, dear reader. Lion King 2019 is 95 percent identical to Lion King 1994 in plot, and yet the original writers do not earn a screenwriting credit thanks to arcane animation writing guild rules, and that is madness. It's their story, it's their characters, and it's almost entirely their dialogue, and to not have their names rightfully credited where they belong is wrong. There are some definite drawbacks to that photo realism as well. When lions and other animals are photo realistic, they have facial structures that don't exactly emote, so it looks like all the animals often just have their jaws wired shut. You'll listen to the vocal actors go through a range of emotions and watch these plain, unmoved faces that you start to wonder if maybe all of the dialogue should have just been voice over. As soon as I saw Mufasa speaking, I was immediately shaken by the image and longed for the expression of the animation. I never got over it and it made me feel removed from the film, even more so. This is the trade off of realism; animals don't actually speak, you know. Another trade off is that the film becomes much more intense especially for younger kids. I would not recommend parents take the littlelest ones to this movie because now, instead of watching a traditionally animated band of characters brawl, you're watching realistic lions and hyenas scrape, claw, and hurl one another to their deaths. If kids were traumatized by parts of the original movie, I can only imagine the nightmares that await. Strangely, the photo realism also mitigates the film's sense of scope and impact. The stampede sequence feels far less dangerous because the camera doesn't pull back that far, showing a massive herd from a distance. Subsequently the sequence loses some of its urgency. Then there's also simply identifying who may be who when those fights come, because you're trying to pick out realistic animals instead of distinct creatures with specific character designs. The aspects you enjoyed with the 1994 Lion King will still be enjoyable, even if they suffer in direct comparison. Hans Zimmer's score is still magnificent. The songs are still catchy, though some of the arrangements are a bit under-cooked, like the speak-sung "Be Prepared." The song "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" occurs absurdly early in the Simbla/Nala reunion and takes place in the sunny afternoon. So much for "tonight" (the famous Nala "bedroom eyes" moment is also quite diminished from a real lion's face). The jokes are still funny because they were funny the first time. The things that worked the first time will still work to some degree, even if the presentation leaves something to desire. Several of the vocal artists just sound flat, especially Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave) who comes across so blasé. I missed the casual menace of Jeremy Irons. The best vocal performances belong to Eichner (Difficult People) and Rogen (Long Shot), maybe because they're already broad personalities, or maybe because they felt the most comfortable to occasionally steer away from the original script, finding small room to roam. Florence Kasumba (Black Panther) also delivers a snarling and effective performance as one of the hyena leaders, Shenzi. They're the only vocal performances that fare well in competition. I need to defend the art of animated films. There is nothing wrong with animated films simply because they are animated. A live-action version is not better simply because it's more "real." I hear this same argument when it comes to making a live-action anime. Animation is a wonderful medium and has a magic all its own that often live-action cannot emulate. The animated Lion King is beautiful with bold colors, strong visual compositions, and emotive characters with specific designs. The live-action Lion King is missing much of that, at least when it's not recreating exact shots from its predecessor. I don't know who this movie is going to appeal to. Parents will be better off just playing the original for their children at home. Die-hard fans of The Lion King might enjoy seeing their favorite story told with plenty of cutting-edge special effects magic. I would have been happier had the filmmakers attempted something like Julie Taymor's transformative and ground-breaking Broadway show. I would have been happier had they just recorded the Broadway show. The new Lion King is a lesser version of the 1994 movie, plain and simple, and if that's enough for you, then have at it. For me, these Disney live-action remakes are making me feel as dead in the eyes as a photo realistic lion. Nate's Grade: C